Disillusionment is that feeling of angst you may get after evidence is presented in such a way that you must change a belief.  It’s a feeling of resistance.  Thoughts can include, “You’re not who I thought you were,” or “I can’t believe you did this to me.”  Why would we naturally become disillusioned?  Self Protection – Brains are lazy.  They want the fasted path to the nicest feeling with the least amount of effort.  Protecting ourselves is natural and good for us.  If we’ve been harmed by circumstance or someone else that is outside of our control we may think, “Why try to control anything?  It’s too much energy for it to just be taken away again.”

When we agree with disillusionment thinking we agree that the world is not the safe, helpful environment we thought that it was AND there is nothing that can be done about it.  Perhaps a marriage was not as safe as you thought.  Perhaps we hadn’t grown as much as we hoped or you experienced a relapse.  The difference between Disillusionment and Hope is that disillusionment is devoid of several protective mindsets that we need to continue our lives in such a way that we don’t harm ourselves or others. 

Maybe the world, the marriage, or you are not as safe as you thought you were.  That doesn’t mean everything is broken and ruined forever.  You may have to do some things you never wanted to do, but giving up is not the option we promote. 

Usually, this is a response to some form of trauma or betrayal.  It may be a symptom of a mental health disorder like depression, but disillusionment isn’t a diagnosis.  Without the proper protective mindsets though, disillusionment can quickly become intrusive thinking that is dangerous for people with suicidal ideation.  This thinking is the fork in the road when new discoveries are made. 

How we choose to handle our thoughts can make the difference between a hope filled future and a bitter one.  Some tips for processing these thoughts so that they do not harm are things like validating your emotions, telling others your thoughts and asking for other’s thoughts, and intentionally looking for stories that have hope filled outcomes. 

Processing the trauma or betrayal through a solution focused lens or accelerated resolution therapy can also be helpful in mitigating your unhelpful, disconnected thinking. Every struggle should be witnessed and not done in isolation.  Allow others to assist you in your healing journey! 

If you’re looking for help, The Hope Place has multiple trauma therapists with decades of experience ready to help you heal from the trauma or betrayal. You can even see our schedules online!